I came home from a frantic afternoon of errand running yesterday to my husband but no son.
“What’s wrong? Why do you have your coat on? Can you please grab this milk and toilet paper and 10 new pairs of sweatpants for our ever-growing monster child? Where is PK anyway?”
“We’re going on a date.”
“Did YOU cancel my haircut?!” <—– this had happened earlier in the day, thus giving me time to run the other errands I was putting off by finally getting a haircut over a month after a snow storm canceled my original appointment. [And damn it. I also a just now realizing that I was supposed to call them back and reschedule after talking to them earlier Friday morning but not having a good date in mind for a new appointment. I’m the worst.]
“I would NEVER do that. That would be crazy.”
My first response was to laugh. Right about now, I feel horrible by the end of the day, both by medical and beauty standards alike, so I needed a second to gather my thoughts. When it set in that my husband had set up a spur-of-the-moment date night I relaxed a bit and began to enjoy the idea that we would eat an entire meal without saying phrases like “Sit down,” and “Do you really have to poop or are you just saying that to be silly?” or “Well, these are the kind of chicken nuggets they have. I guess you won’t be eating then.”
I also came to realize that I’d be able to wake up today and just…I don’t know…sit. [Spoiler Alert: I woke up at 4AM and couldn’t sleep anymore, but I’m still sitting in silence, so I’m okay with it.]
I wonder if parent date nights look pathetic to young people? Or at least, to people who don’t have kids or demanding jobs or dogs, whatever. Non-adults I guess I mean. For example, would the fact that part of Date Night was to go to AT&T and finally upgrade my phone that I’ve been meaning to upgrade but keep putting off be sort of pathetic? I mean, I’m paying for it, so it’s not like it’s this new present from my husband. More like Hubs is initiating a Treat Yo’ Self day for me since I pretty much suck at doing so on my own.
Then we went to a super romantic dinner at Ruby Tuesday in our local run down mall, and then caught a movie at 7:30 in said run down mall. I surprisingly stayed awake the entire time, most likely because I’m 30 weeks pregnant and couldn’t find a comfortable position for about 3/4 of the film.
All in all, I’m glad that with our hectic schedules and impending birth of another human being, my husband remembered that we need to take time to just talk to each other sometimes. We’re not good at scheduling date nights. His schedule is much more sporadic than mine – he’s still home relatively early by business world standards, but the fact remains that usually if we’re to do something spur-of-the-moment like this, it has to be initiated on his end because I can’t keep track of where he is and and when. We’ve experimented with sharing our Google calendars and such, but “meetings” for him are not like “meetings” for me, and so we’re always left regrouping at the end of each day to figure out who’s available for pick up, drop off, and everything in between.
This morning I realized again that although I still feel a little twinge of Mommy Guilt for not spending one of my two weekend mornings with PK, he’s not keeping track, and he doesn’t even realize that maybe a little R&R is what Mommy needs right now. It’s hard to put myself first and say I need my own time. I also know that he’s not keeping track. He doesn’t have a list of how many Saturdays he hasn’t seen me. And soon he will be in school and the idea of being home or at daycare while Mom and Dad are at work won’t even be on his radar anymore.
I’m not sure that in the next tenish weeks we’ll have another date night, but at least I am reassured that my husband remembers that we need to put ourselves first sometimes.