I was mindlessly checking Facebook today and came across this headline: Sibling Study Finds No Long-Term Breastfeeding Benefits For Kids.   It came up on NPR’s news feed, so I’ll take it as more legit than most of the junk that I usually see.  I thought, wow! Where was this article 22 months ago when I felt like a failure?

And then I was like, WHY THE F AM I NOT BLOGGING ABOUT MOTHERHOOD ANYMORE?!

And then I was like, if people read this, they’ll laugh at me.  I’m pretty sure that my last blog post said, “no, but for reals, I’m going to blog about being a mommy.”  [Fact check: I said that on June 17, 2013.]

 

So I opened up a $7 of Malbec and began writing.

I’ve had a lot of ups and downs on The Mommy Crash Course over the past 22 months.  I’ve nearly finished my second year as a full-time working mother.  My son has lived through the entirety of that time, and learned to run, jump, ride a balance bike and say “watch this” when he is about to do something utterly amazing, like throw a ping pong ball at his own face.  I think my students have done okay too, even though being a working mom means I devote a little less time and effort to them as well.  All things considered, the kids in my life are alright.

I can say that the thought of bringing another child into this world is a little bit terrifying.  Sometimes my husband and I talk about an imaginary second child, but to honest, I have some mostly selfish and probably weird reasons why I’m not so sure I’m ready.

  1. I am in the best freaking shape of my life.  Yeah, I put that first.  I’m okay with it.
  2. I love my son so much it hurts sometimes.  Can a mother divide that up?
  3. We have a two bedroom house.  My office on the first floor would become a kid bedroom.  Is that weird to demote your kid to the first floor?  Is it bad that I really like having my little office space?
  4. Daycare is expensive, and we have cheap daycare.
  5. Every person on the planet will ask me if I hope “it” is a girl.
  6. Other people will compare my children to each other.  Lame.
  7. Have you ever gone through pregnancy while teaching high school kids?
  8. Scratch that.  Going through pregnancy and talking to anyone who talks about my body as if it’s not my own is pretty terrible in general.
  9. My bra size is no longer a double anything.  Partly due to reason #1 I’m sure.
  10. This world in crazy.  The external factors that I have to control as a mother in 2014 are crazy.

At some point in my life, I should consider meditation to shut my brain off for a bit.  I pretty much over think every single aspect of my life, which can be pretty exhausting.

My glass of Malbec’s gone. It’s 9:05 on a Saturday night. Time for bed.

 

[just kidding. it was totally two glasses of wine]

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