Yesterday was my first weekday of vacation. I NEEDED this vacation. The thing about teaching, is that it’s really just like any other relationship in my life – specifically marriage and parenthood. Somebody always needs attention. Sometimes those people are students, sometimes they’re teachers, sometimes they’re administrators. But at very few times am I to my own devices. I love teaching, but sometimes it can be draining to have to field everyone else’s problems, and then go home to much of the same. I’m interrupted by my husband, by my son, by the goddamned German Shepherd who barks every 13 seconds, precisely at the moment when I am trying to think, or cut a pear into a hundred bite sized pieces.
So on our first real day of vacation (the kind where other people are working and I am not) I had grand plans of walking to the park and munching on Cheerios together. And then I woke up and the heat index was, like, a million. So Baby Boy and I went to Walmart and Stop & Shop. Ooooooooo. And we still ate Cheerios, in our playroom, beneath the glamorous shadow of a Little Tikes basketball hoop. Still not working, so I call this a win.
Today he went to daycare. I know, I’m a terrible mom, right? Well if being able to finally go to a store and try on clothing, or going for a run at my own leisure is terrible, then I guess I’m your girl. Plus, he needs daycare still. He needs other kids to follow around and teach him how to be a kid, and who will probably take him down a peg or two as he starts to get “too big for his britches,” as my Nanu used to say. He needs arts and crafts. He needs the sweet, sweet fort that the older kids built underneath the kitchen table last week.
Days like today make me realize just how much of my life is really just whatever I can fit in after the needs of my son and husband. I needed to clean the bathroom all the way through without him waking up from a nap, mid tub scrub. Yes, I did need to go to shopping today without a time limit, and without a stroller. I needed to eat lunch when I was hungry, not when my son was.
I needed to not have to report my whereabouts to anyone. Or a time that I would return.
And for that reason, he’ll go to daycare once a week and I will probably have a clean house, at least until September.