As expected, since I’ve returned to work, I have less than the optimal amount of free time on hand to do things like blog, watch TV or paint my nails. It’s been two weeks now, and although I am still wrestling with the idea that I had to return to work to take care of not-always-grateful teenagers while someone else watches my own little boy, I’m doing okay. I’m still sad every now and then, and since I’ve had a baby, it’s difficult for me to stop myself from going there and welling up with tears. I know it will get better, but it’s a slow process.
I can’t believe that over four months have gone by already. In that short amount of time, I’ve learned:
- The rate at which a baby grows is astronomical. My four-month old is wearing 6-9 month clothing and is consistently in the 98th percentile at each check up. I don’t know how we will ever keep up with it. We have yet to finish off a full box of diapers because he keeps growing (and leaking pee) out of them.
- Despite the unspeakable things my husband witnessed during labor and delivery, he is still attracted to me. He might possibly love me more than he did four months ago.
- Some woman are simultaneously happy for me and disgusted with me for losing the weight I gained while pregnant. I worked very hard to get back in shape, and I had a quick and relatively easy delivery. It’s hard to feel like I should feel guilty for doing this quickly.
- I thought the first few weeks of Parker’s life were exhausting for me. And then I went back to work. And then Parker decided that he would start waking up a few times a night again. I’ve never felt more like a zombie in my entire life. And I woke up for rowing practice at 4 AM for four years in college!
- Although it is difficult for me to enjoy the idea of my son being cared for by another person all day, he came home with his first craft on Friday and I almost cried because I was so happy.
- I may not have nursed for very long, but I still had to invest in an entire new line of larger bras.
- My parents did not care where I got married, and so I chose a garden on the hottest day of July. However, my son was baptized in a Catholic church last weekend, lest he not get into heaven some day. I don’t know what I believe as far as religion goes anymore, but I sure as hell believe in the wrath of my mother.
- When a baby learns to roll over, it’s like opening up a flood gate of bottled-up baby energy. Suddenly I can’t leave him alone for three minutes while I make another cup of coffee.
- Starting solid foods is messy , hilarious and pretty fun. Parker likes it too.
- I really do love being a mom, even though the highs are amazing and the lows make me question every decision I’ve made up until this point. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. But next time I’m laying down some strict rules that visitors can’t stay in my hospital room for hours on end. I might even hire a bouncer next time around. I was recovering from sometime major, people!
I had hoped to stick with this blog, and hopefully I find some time to do so as the weeks go on. For now I leave you with the cutest baby on Earth: